July 17, 2017

I quit medical school, but it's not the end: Encouragement Weekly Photo Challenge #13 and 14

Proverbs 3:5-6



Life is full of uncertainties.

We’ve heard about this countless of times, but still we are convinced that amidst all the uncertainties, we are in control. Eventually reality strikes, making us realize that we can never be in full control.

This reality has struck me recently, and I was not prepared for the twists and turns that came. In fact, my life’s still twisted and tangled because of the past year’s events.

All my life I imagined myself to become a doctor. To be specific, a surgeon, like my dad. It was my dream to wear that long white coat, and those pine green scrubs; to serve the country by serving others. 

Since grade school, everything went as planned. My good exam-taking abilities landed me a slot in the Philippine Science High School Southern Mindanao Campus*. This gave me a good foundation to get into the BS Biology program of the University of the Philippines Diliman*, and eventually the University of the Philippines College of Medicine*. My life seemed to be going perfectly. Not bragging, but I know there would be people who would have wanted to trade places with me. 

When I got into medical school, I realized that it’s way different than my expectations. That long white coat is still at the end of a seemingly endless dark tunnel, where you can't see dangers being hurled at you. I realized that my desire to pursue a career in medicine is all up in the clouds. It was a fantasy, a fairy tale, and I was not prepared to face the reality that maybe, it isn't for me.






In my 3 years and 4 months in medical school, I realized that intelligence is not enough to get you a medical degree. The seemingly great “return of investment” of pursuing a career in medicine, is not enough to keep you going. It takes more than that. Becoming a good doctor takes genuine concern for others. In fact, someone told me that someone told her that you don’t go to medicine for money, fame, not even prestige. You do medicine for people and service.

Those who truly know me know that I'm not the type who gives up easily. Though disillusioned, I tried to push myself to persevere, and to do my best to learn and improve. I might have pushed myself so hard to get to the point of breaking. The time eventually came when I was sure that I’d rather die than face another day pursuing the path I was going. That’s when I decided it isn’t worth it anymore. I quit.

It’s been a struggle keeping myself together since I made the decision. I know about my responsibilities to my family and my country. However I have become a danger to myself and I needed to take the time off to think about the things that has transpired and what can be done to make my life livable. 

Others may think that I’m a failure because I quit the race. However, I believe that becoming a doctor is not THE race of my life. MY LIFE is the race, and I’m not quitting. I’m still running to see what’s at the end of all of this.

It’s scary. I don’t know what’s coming, but despite all of these things, I put my trust in the Lord. I believe that He can make something beautiful out of the mess that has become of my life.


Press on to finish the race


Related posts:

*The Philippine Science High School System and the University of the Philippines System are considered to be among the best educational systems in the Philippines

Next Week's Encouragement: Hope, and hope again


15 comments:

  1. One of my favorite verses in the bible is the Proverbs 3:5-6. Great encouragement photos to motivate the week! :)

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  2. Wow, what a crazy story. I'm glad that it's working out.

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  3. It was scary when I made a decision to change my career but I was worth it.

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    2. Thanks Kristal :) It's really very scary. Let's hope for the best! <3

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  4. Your work is not your life. Your career is not your life. Your LIFE is your life! Well done on being brave enough to admit it wasn't for you. It's not easy, and people around you can make it even harder than it needs to be. I hope you find your groove!

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    1. Thank you so much Quinn. I really need this right now. It's so difficult to move around life being labeled as "the one who quit" or something, but I should not get affected by that. Stop being sad and be awesome instead! :)

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  5. I think it's very brave of you to admit it wasn't for you! Good luck it the career you do decide to pursue!

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  6. My heart goes out to you. Just know that you are not alone... you were just brave enough and smart enough to take action now instead of years down the road when it could have been REALLY, REALLY detrimental. You have to do what's right for you... not what everyone else thinks you should do. Take a deep breath, and find what inspires you. xoxoxoxo

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    1. Thank you so much Michelle for understanding. It means so much to me. <3 I hope everything will turn out fine. :)

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